Diary Exchange
by EvilCannibalPanda
Summary: Something's been bothering Kyle. And Dylan is curious as to what it is. Deciding upon the best course of action, Dylan suggests they do a diary exchange.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Sooo... Hey :) I'm not sure where this idea came from... But I was looking through the pairings and saw that Red Goth/Kyle isn't very popular... :/ I think Kyle goes good with anyone. :) Haha, well anyway enough of my rambling. Enjoy? :P

Dear Diary,

Oh god... I feel ridiculous for doing this. But Red's all about emotions and shit, so he suggested I do this. Plus, he said he would do it too so that it wouldn't seem so bad. I think he called it a diary exchange or something. Ya know, where you write an entry and you give it to somebody else and they write one. Then you keep passing it back and forth. Yeah, so that's what I've been conned into doing. So far, though, I don't feel any better. Apparently writing in this thing is supposed to make me more calm and release some of my angst. Yep. Still waiting for that to happen.

Actually, I just feel worse after going to the dollar store to purchase this horrid thing. I mean, the lady looked down at it and gave me an amused smirk before ringing it up. Its not necessarily my fault they only had two choices to choose from and this was the less girly of the two. The other one had happy, dancing flowers and smiling bees, whereas this one has non-smiling flowers firmly planted in the ground where they belong. Its not my fault, its the factory's fault whom they received them from for not making manlier diaries... And if I really want to start pointing fingers, its mostly Red's fault for making me do this. Worse, he refused to be the one to buy this damn book, leaving the task to me.

Eh. Red's not all that bad really. He's a better friend than Cartman at least. I can't exactly remember how we became friends, but I believe it was sometime back in middle school when some kids were picking on me for being one of the only two kids in the class to pass the test over Romeo and Juliet that our teacher had assigned. At first it was just harsh whispering behind my back. Then name calling started, which I excepted without batting an eye. When they noticed that I wasn't paying them any attention, they became more determined and started following me down they hall, calling after me with painful jeers that made me turn red with fury. At this point I turned around and pulled a Craig. This gesture was one they didn't take too kindly to and I was pummeled to the ground in a matter of seconds. I didn't get hurt too badly though, because my attacker received a punch to the face and I was pulled to my feet by the goth kid with red and black hair.

I think we started hanging out sometime after that. I even manage to make him smile sometimes. But the best part is when I can make him laugh, because it's especially hard to do and his laugh is really entrancing. ...Oh god. Please just ignore that comment, dude. Crap, I'm writing in pen... Ugh. So I guess I'll stop here and give this to you tomorrow, probably during second hour. But I think your right, I do feel a tad bit better after writing in this thing. But only a little. Jesus, don't let Cartman know were doing this, he'll never stop harassing me about it.

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski

A/N: I've already written chapters two and three, but I don't know if I'll even continue this... Please leave a review telling me what you think. :) Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Omg! :D Thank you for the reviews, favorites, and story alerts :) It made my day! So all of my love goes out to you guys :D Anyhoo, here's chapter 2.**

Dear Diary,

Oh. My. God. I know I was the one who suggested we do this, and I left it up to you to pick out a diary, but couldn't you have gotten anything better? Maybe gone to another store, or just settled for a composition book? Okay, whatever. I'm over it now. Jesus, flowers? Really, Kyle? Sorry, _now _I'm over it.

Wait, so you think my laugh is 'entrancing'? That's quite an interesting statement. Well apparently you haven't heard yourself laugh...obviously. You don't even laugh. You giggle, like a little girl or something. Actually, now that I think about it, you kind of look like a girl too. Especially that one time when your conformist, traitor friend Marsh put you in his sisters dress and made you go to the dance with him. I didn't go to it, but I saw that one girl, Bebe I think, looking at the pictures on facebook. The pictures were...interesting to say the least. To be honest, I didn't even know it was you until I started trying to remember when a female ginger started coming to our school. Then I got a better look. I guess you could say I was surprised. Which, according to you, is a hard emotion to get out of me.

You know, this diary thing will work better if you start being a little more open and emotional. And until you do that, I refuse to say anything personal in here. You told me that there was something bothering you, right? Well, what is it? I'm not going to tell you my secret until you tell me yours.

And by the way, stop calling me Red. I haven't used that name since middle school, when I stopped hanging out with the goths...

Signed,

Dylan


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

Dylan, Red, whatever. You can take the kid out the goths, but you cant take the goth out of the kid. At least you've quit smoking. Anyway, I don't want to be more open. This is embarrassing. What if I write my secret in here and one of us loses it? I would die. Literally. Because if Cartman found out he would personally see to it that I be executed. I'm already a ginger, jersey, Jew. This could be the last straw.

Speaking of Cartman, you'll never believe what happened today during first period. Okay, so I was sitting in math, tutoring Kenny, and Cartman was late for class as usual. But today, when he came in I noticed something. He had a mark on his neck. He sat down and I took a closer look at it. A hickey! Eric had a freakin hickey on his neck! It surprised the hell out of me, so I asked him where it came from, and he just smirked. Then, later on I was at my locker and I heard some really weird noises, so I decided to be nosy and took a peek behind me. I almost had a heart attack. Fat ass was there, and do you who he was with? Wendy. And do you know what they were doing? You don't want to know. It was awful. God, she was like, eating his face off.

Just thinking about it makes me shudder. What does Wendy see in him? Whatever. Anyway, hey, Stan and I are supposed to go to the arcade later. Do you wanna join us? I'm sure he wouldn't mind and it would be awesome to hang out with both of my best friends at once. Please?

Signed,

Kyle

**A/N: I appreciate the favorites and story alerts, but I would like some reviews as well. :) So, I won't update the next chapter unless I get at least one more review. :P :) Also, this story _is _going somewhere. It's just going to take a few chapters to get there...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Reviewssss! :D Thank you guys! :) Sorry this chapter took so long to upload, but here ya go!**

Dear Diary,

Though wasting my time on mindless video games while being mentally ridiculed by Marsh isn't how I necessarily _enjoy_ spending my time, the arcade was alright yesterday. I guess I'm obligated to say, thanks for inviting me. But there was something bothering me the whole time we were there. I mean, I know you and Stan are like buds and all- Sorry, 'Super Best Friends'... But what's up with all that touchy feely shit?

I've known you both since elementary school and he's always been like that. Though lately, he's been acting weirder than usual. Actually, ever since Wendy left him to go screw around with that tub of lard to be exact. Call me crazy, call me a liar, whatever... But it seems to me that Marsh has a little faggy crush on you.

Kyle, I'm telling you this as your friend. I'm only looking out for your own good when I tell you this... I think it would be best for you and Stan to stop hanging out for awhile. Anyone with eyes can see that he wants to screw you. And your going to get hurt. No, seriously. Your going to get hurt; it's obvious that you would be bottom. But, yeah. The way he stares at you, the way he hugs you from behind and always keeps an arm around your waist. He even refuses to let you leave his side without a good enough reason. And apparently, in his eyes, going to go play Fast and Furious with Dylan isn't considered a good reason to leave the almighty Stan's side. Yeah, I noticed that by the way.

I guess I'm just overreacting for whatever reason, though. I mean, your not even gay. And even if you were, you can do a hell of a lot better that him. I'm done ranting, I guess I'll give this to you later.

Signed,

Dylan


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

Okay, whats going on? You weren't here yesterday, so I was like, "alright, whatever." Then I get here today and your still not here? Kyle Broflovski, I swear to the God I don't believe in: I will kill if you don't have a good excuse for leaving me all alone.

Oh yeah, I got a surprise visit today. I was getting my shit out of my locker after sixth period and I turned around, and right there blocking my path was your little friend. I just quirked an eyebrow at him and sidestepped left, then the fucker stepped left too. I just sighed and asked what he wanted. You know how I am with people... I don't like them, and I get really awkward around them. I hate having to keep up a conversation with pathetic beings. Well... Except for you, but your...different.

He just stared at me for a minute with this look on his face. It was really weird, like the kind of look you get when step in a pile of dog shit. Or something similar. He just kept staring, not losing eye contact. And then he smirked at me and walked off. I'm serious, somethings wrong with that kid. But anyway, you better be here tomorrow.

Signed,

Dylan

**A/N: PLEASE READ!**

**First of all, I want to thank my reviewers: ****Raven, Wolff321, Flika, Nero, Aku-Hitokiri-Kitsunee. And I also want to give a thank you to anyone who favorited or put this story on you story alerts.**

**Also, I'll try to update faster. I've just been busy lately, but I'm back now :) AND! I started a joint account with my best friend. Our pin name is Kingkillerxox. You should really check out our story and the others to come. The stories won't just be South Park, we plan to write stories from lots and lots of fandoms! :) Anyway, thank you everyone! Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! I already had this typed out, but I was so preoccupied with writing Abstract Asylum with my best friend that I didn't think to upload it… Eh heh… Oh, hey! I know I already said this once, but I misspelled our name in the last chapter. It's Kingkillerxoxo. But, yeah, if you haven't checked out our aforementioned story then you really should. Just sayin. It's got a really slow start, but when things pick up there's going to be drama around every corner :D Anyway, enough of my pointless rambling. Here's the chapter! I'll probably upload the next one tomorrow.**

Dear Diary,

Sorry about that, dude. Something came up… Mom let me stay home Wednesday and Thursday (more like _made _me.) I wasn't about to argue with her though, I was actually thrilled that she suggested it. But anyway, I'm here now, so chill. Oh, hey you should come over after school today. I need some serious help catching up on this school work. More precisely, the English assignment that Mrs. Moore suddenly decided to give us the day I was absent, then made it due tomorrow. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do, she just handed me a piece of paper with instructions and then went on her way. God, she's got to be the worst English teacher ever… Anyway, can you?

Signed,

Kyle


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Well here's the next chapter, as promised **

Dear Diary,

I know she's harsh. I hate her just as much as you do, but look on the bright side: You and I are the only ones passing. The rest of those pathetic beings are most likely going to fail this year. For some of them, I'm pretty sure it won't be their first time being held back. But whatever, they deserve it. In regard to your question, though, sure I can come over… On one condition: Tell me where the hell you've been. I'm serious. Don't you think for one minute that I didn't notice your swollen lip and bruised cheek. Plus, you've been quiet all day, which is truly unusual, especially for you. What the hell happened, Broflovski? You'd better tell me.

Signed,

Dylan

**A/N: Review? :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Wow… It's been quite a while since I updated. And to anyone still reading, well thank you :) I've been so busy with school lately that I've neglected my stories… :/ But this story only has a few more chapters to go. And this one isn't a diary entry. As much as I love the diary entries, I felt like this chapter was necessary. Enjoy! :D**

As I read the last entry by Dylan, I felt my face heat up and slowly closed the book. I sighed and put my head on the desk in front of me, using my green sweater-clothed arms as a pillow of sorts. I didn't want to tell him… Dylan is such an indifferent, uncaring person that I was sure he'd just overlook the marks that were still on their way to being fully healed. But for some reason, that was never the case when I was involved. I guess it's because I'm his first real friend besides the goth kids he used to hang out with (he still does on rare occasions, but more often than not their outings result in a catastrophic fight of sorts…)

I couldn't tell him, though. I just couldn't… For one, I'd have to recall the events that were still fresh in my mind, but kept slightly fuzzy by my forced mental barrier. And two, it was just too embarrassing. I wonder what he'd think if I told him; would he think I was a wuss and decide that I was unfit to be his friend? That thought hurt me. I knew that it was implausible, but just the thought sent a shiver of loneliness and betrayal down my spine, and I could actually feel tears forming from the corners of my teal green eyes.

Maybe I should lie to him. Dylan's pretty smart, probably one of the smartest people I know in this redneck mountain town, but if I could make up a good enough excuse and say it in such a way that we could laugh it off… Maybe he would buy it? It was worth a shot. I spent the rest of sixth hour devising my flawless lie that I would tell him after school.

* * *

><p>After sixth period ended, I took a deep breath for reassurance and shoved my stuff into my Terrance and Phillip school bag. That show never gets old, even though the only thing they ever play anymore are re-runs. I was the last to leave class because I knew Dylan would have to make a phone call to his parents telling them he was walking home with me, and then he would have to go to his locker to drop his extra supplies off. So I wasn't really in any hurry.<p>

I slung my bag over my shoulder and stepped out the door, closing it behind me. I turned around to wiggle the doorknob to make sure it was actually locked (a habit our teacher had made us develop when we were the last ones out.) Then I felt warm, strong arms snake themselves around my slender waist and hot breath sent chills down my back as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck. "H-hey, Stan…" I muttered. Stan… He was the _last _person I wanted to see right now. And I'm pretty sure he was aware of it judging by the way his grip tightened the slightest bit.

"Kyle… We really need to talk. Ya know, about what happened Tuesday…" His voice was an apologetic whisper, but sincere all the same. It didn't matter though. He could be as sorry as he wanted to be and go as low as to be my slave for the rest of his life, but it wouldn't erase what had happened. Sure, I could forgive him. In fact, I already had. But I just couldn't get over it; every time I saw him in the hallway today I would instinctively flinch and walk the other way.

"There's nothing to talk about," I mumbled, my breathing starting to become ragged. I was glad he couldn't see my face, because I'm sure I was redder than my scarlet hair at this point. I felt something wet hit my neck and I flinched, thinking he was doing something creepy… But then I realized with a shock that Stan was crying.

"Yes, we do. Maybe you don't need to talk about this, but I do. You can just listen if you want to, you don't even have to say anything. Just please, Kyle, don't ignore me," he pleaded, his crying face never leaving my neck.

I was stunned to the point that I couldn't speak. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. Eventually, tears began to slowly spill down my own cheeks and my breath hitched. Before I could even register what I was doing, I pulled away with strength I didn't know I possessed and turned around to face him. "You hurt me, Stan," I said, barely more than a whisper. But I knew I had gotten my point across by the crushed look on his face. I quickly turned to leave, but then I called over my shoulder harshly, "And don't you dare follow me home either!"

Tears were now spilling down my usually pale face and I couldn't control my noisy sobs as I darted down the hall to find Dylan.

* * *

><p>I waited patiently by my locker on the first floor, wondering what could be taking Kyle so long. I checked my watch again, just to make sure I had read right. Yep, 3:20. Class had let out over fifteen minutes ago… Maybe he forgot I was supposed to go home with him and he caught the bus instead? I sighed, contemplating what to do if that was the case. I waited another minute or so before pulling my phone out to call Kyle's cell phone, but then I saw a flash of red out of my peripheral vision. I swiftly shoved my mobile back into the front pants pocket of my black skinny jeans and looked up, just in time to be tackled by a sniveling ginger. I let out a gasp of surprise as I pushed into the locker behind me and Kyle's arms wrapped clumsily around my torso. I tentatively placed my own arms around him, as I wasn't use to this sort of contact and I wasn't very good at comforting others. Plus, Kyle and I never did this sort of thing. But this <em>was <em>Kyle, so I endured it.

He had his face buried deep into my plain black cotton shirt, and I was sure it was soaked at this point since I could feel my skin underneath exposed to his salty tears. "K-Kyle? Umm…?" I asked after I heard him finally calming himself down a bit. He stopped and raised his head from my shirt, but not releasing me from his hug.

He looked up at me miserably before pulling himself away from me. He took a few steps back, and kept his head down. "S-sorry, dude… I didn't mean to do that…" He mumbled. I could tell he wasn't really sorry. "It's cool. Let's get going, okay? Your mom's probably worried by now." He gave a slight nod and we headed toward the exit door. (Students were always staying after for various activities, so it was kept unlocked until around six, when everyone was expected to have gone home.)

We walked in silence for a while, before I decided I had every right to know. "What happened?" I asked him. His head snapped up from the ground, confused. "Why were you crying back there?" I elaborated, though I'm sure he knew what I meant. He didn't answer me. After a moment I sighed and my gaze left him to look straight ahead.

"Hey, Dylan?" He asked suddenly in a tiny voice. I can't remember ever seeing him so…vulnerable. It was pathetic, but in an okay kind of way.

"Yeah?" I asked, glad he was finally speaking, even though it wasn't an answer to my previous question. Come to think of it, he'd been avoiding a lot of my questions today.

"…Would you be my friend, no matter what? Even if you found out that I did something completely awful?" He was looking at me now, a hopeful gleam in his soft teal eyes.

What kind of question was that? "Duh," I responded simply. A tiny smile tugged at his lips and I couldn't help but smirk. "Why do you ask?"

"…I can't tell you… Well, not yet anyway," he answered quietly, his face flushed as he avoided eye contact. He reached into his school bag and pulled out the girly diary. "I think…. I think you should read the last entry…" He offered me the book, not watching as I carefully took it from his hands. I felt as if I held the answers to life itself in my hands right now. I glanced over, Kyle's face, if possible, growing an even darker shade of red.

Turning back to the diary, I flipped to the most recent entry. As my eyes scanned over the words, everything started to click in my mind, and my own face grew to be the color of Kyle's.

**A/N: So hey… If I get at least one review, I'll upload the next chapter tonight ;D**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: As promised, here's the next chapter! :)**

Dear Diary,

So I spent a whole class period trying to come up with some lame lie to tell you about where those marks actually came from. But in the end, I realized I couldn't lie to you, of all people. And not just because you'd probably see through the lie, but because your my best friend. And I need you now more than ever, dude. Sorry for sounding sappy. But first of all, I think it's time you know the truth. That secret I wanted to tell you… I was so afraid of letting everyone find out, especially you because I couldn't risk losing you as a friend. So I told Stan first. I told him the day we went to the arcade, after we had dropped you off and he asked if he could spend the night.

I told him thst night. Now I realize my mistake and I know that you should have been the first to know. And you don't know just how right you were about everything, Dylan…

I'm gay. And if that's not bad enough, I have a crush on my best friend. Yep, that's right. I'm talking about you. …At least it's easier to write than it is to say out loud… Please, I'm begging you, don't hate me, dude...

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski

**A/N: Okay, readers! This is important! I need to know if I should finish the story in POV's, which would mean it would end in another chapter or two... Or should I continue with the original theme and write the rest in diary form? Please let me know what you want! Thank youso much for reading! :D **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello, all! Sorry I didn't upload this sooner. But here you go! :D**

Dear Diary,

Dylan… Come on, talk to me, dude. You've been avoiding me for a week now. After you read my last entry, you just stood there with this blank look on your face for like a whole two minutes. Then you just threw the diary at me and took off in the opposite direction…

I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? It was hard enough admitting my feelings for you, but you ignoring me is ten times worse… I'll try to suppress my gayness if you want me to, and I'll… I dunno, I'll try to love somebody else… Just please be my friend again, that's all I'm asking from you…

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski

**A/N: Poor Kyle :( God, Dylan! Stop being such a douche! Go kiss your Kyle and make yaoi so that all is right with the world! :P**

**Sooo… Review? Favorite? Story alert? Maybe? …..No? D: Thanks for all of your support so far! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Diary,

It's not that easy, Kyle! You can't just tell me your gay and you have a crush on me, and then expect me to forget about it. I just… Damn it, Kyle. You just don't understand, okay? Hell, I don't even understand... This is why I hate hanging around people. All these damn emotions swarming inside me… I can't comprehend them, and its pissing me off. I just want to be alone for a while okay? Go back to being buddies with Marsh, Kyle. It'll be best for everybody.

Signed,

Dylan

**A/N: Next chapter will hopefully be up soon, depending on if I have wifi or not. And the next one will be longer, promise. Thanks for reading! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Due to various reasons and me being too sick to even bother messing with my beloved laptop, this chapter was delayed longer than I anticipated. But anyway, here's the next chapter! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or any of the characters. They belong to my idols, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. :)**

Dear Diary,

Wow. It took you three days to write me back? Was it that hard to tell me you didn't want to be friends anymore? And for your information, I can't go back to being 'buddies' with Stan. It's not really any of your business, but I still want you to know what I'm going through. And you just left me to deal with it alone.

That Tuesday, after we got back from the arcade and we were sitting in my room, Stan and I were playing Xbox like the lazy teens we are. We were laughing at each other for constantly getting attacked by monsters and accusing the other of having no gamer skills. Overall we were having kick ass awesome time, and then I died for the hundredth time since we had started playing less than an hour ago. I fell back laughing at my own epic fail, requesting in between gasps of breath for Stan to just turn the console off.

He wiped tears from his eyes and tried to control his own laughter enough to reach for the power button. After the room was relatively quiet for a moment, Stan glanced over at me with an evil smirk, then threw his controller down and attacked me. And by attack I mean he started tickling me all over; I couldn't stop giggling and trying to squirm away. Eventually, he stopped and was right on top of me. He rested his hands on either side of me and looked down at me with amusement. He reached up to wipe some of the sweat-matted black hair from his forehead so he could look me directly in the eyes better. "You know…" He said, still a bit out of breath. "You giggle like a girl." I stuck my tongue out at him and pushed him off, embarrassed. "That's what Dylan always tells me," I murmured as I crawled off the bed and went to my drawer to dig around for my inhaler. I found it and spotted an extra one as well. "Hey, Stan, I think I have one of your inhalers if you need it," I called over my shoulder as I proceeded to use my own. He didn't reply, so I turned around, confused. He was glaring out the window.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He didn't say anything, so we just sat in an uncomfortable silence for what felt like forever. Eventually he looked up at me with a sigh, his face was really serious. "Do you… Do this kind of stuff with him, too? You know, sleepovers, tickle fights, gossip?" He asked me. I frowned.

"Well… Yeah. I mean, he is my best friend, dude," I told him. There was another uncomfortable silence. "I remember when _I _use to be your best friend," He muttered. "No one should be able to touch you, Kyle. No one but me." And then he told me something that ruined my night. I know how you feel, Dylan. Because when Stan told me he was gay, I wanted to run away from him too. I was embarrassed, not because of the him being gay part. But because he told me in the same breath that he was in love with me.

I was quiet as I looked at him, trying to see if he was lying or not. But he was being completely serious. That's when I told him the truth. I told him the secret that _you _were supposed to find out about first. I told him I was gay too. At first, he was beaming with happiness and wrapped him arms around me. Then I loosened myself from him backed away. I looked him in the eye and said, and I quote, "But I don't feel that way about you, Stan. I'm kind of…in love with Dylan."

Yeah, after that everything went downhill. You know what happened? He lashed out at me. He swung his fist at me, and hit me right on the cheek. But Stan's always been pretty weak so it didn't really hurt, physically anyway. And then, you know what happened next, dude? He raped me. Yep, Stan raped me. I cried the whole time and I kept thinking, "I should've told Dylan first." And I kept wishing you were there to stop him like you stopped those guys from harassing me so many years ago. But you weren't there. You weren't there then, and you're not here for me now.

But whatever, I guess I brought it on myself anyway. It's my fault for foolishly believing that you could ever feel the same way about me. After you read this, can you at least do me a favor and burn this thing? I don't want anyone to find it and I sure as hell don't want to ever see it again. I guess… I guess I'm sorry for everything, dude.

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski

**A/N: So… I've recently become obsessed with two new fandoms and I'm planning on writing stories for them sometime in the near future. So I'll try to finish up this story quickly. Diary Exchange will probably have two or three more chapters before it's officially done… Thank you for reading! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Diary,

Kyle… I love you. I love you more than life itself- Well, I guess that's not really saying much… In which case, I love you more than I love this cigarette I'm currently holding between my fingers. Yeah, I started smoking again by the way. It's the only thing I could think of to keep my mind off of you. Little good that did…

Listen, I want you to understand why I got so mad. I wasn't really mad at you, because hell… I could never be mad at you, Kyle. Ever since elementary school, I've kept a keen eye on you. The first time Stan got involved with us, the goths I mean, and you came trying to save him from his mopey state, I watched your every move. Of course, back then I was too young to be in love. But I did find you interesting. You weren't like us… But you weren't like _them _either. You were different. And that made me curious. By middle school the realization that I'd never taken interest in girls hit me. I had been too busy watching you. That's when I realized that I was gay.

This in itself kind of pissed me off. Because at the time that I had realized it, everyone was going through another metrosexual stage. I felt like I was conforming to them, and I didn't like it. So I kept my mouth shut and continued to watch you not take part of the town's constant chaos. I wasn't in love with you then, it didn't occur to me at the time that the reason for my sexual orientation was based solely on you.

All I wanted was to be your friend. Then you tell me you're in love with me, and everything comes crashing down. I finally realized my true feelings and shit. And I didn't know how to react, never having been in that kind of situation. You have to understand, Kyle… You took me by surprise. But I love you. I love you more than anything. And I swear to god I'm going to kick Stan's ass tomorrow.

Not that you'll ever read this, though…

Signed,

Dylan

I sighed as I looked over at the diary lying on the black blanket of my tidy queen-sized bed. I took a long drag of my cigarette and frowned. I wanted to tell him so bad… I felt terrible for the things I had done and the things I had said, even though I thought I had every right to be mad. The guy _did _catch me off guard, that should excuse a lot of my behavior, right?

I looked back at the piece of notebook paper sitting directly in front of me on my computer desk. My eyes lazily scanned over the words I had juts wrote and I felt my cheeks warm. I thought about Kyle. I thought about his cheerful smile and blissful laugh, and those curious green eyes that would always seem to light up when he was particularly interested in something. My mind trailed off to memories of times we spent together, just hanging out... I remembered enjoying every minute we spent together, even when I was trying to act like I was too cool to care. That's another reason I liked hanging out with Kyle, he never took offense to my indifference.

I could definitely see why Stan liked him… He was just so _perfect_… 'Perfect enough to make the_ almighty_ Stan lose his cool in a fit of jealousy,' I couldn't help but think. Then I flinched, thinking back on the words that I had read earlier today.

I felt myself blush harder and scowl at nothing in particular. "That son of a bitch," I mumbled aloud, which only made my heart beat quicken considerably. I let out an uncharacteristic growl and took one last drag of my cigarette before smashing it in the ash tray next to the paper. I needed to take a shower to calm myself down… Then maybe I should call it a night.

As I made my way out my bedroom door and to the bathroom down the hall, two thoughts crossed my mind: 1. that kid was making my life a living hell of confusion and emotions. 2. I prayed to a non-existing God that I wouldn't dream about him again tonight…

**A/N: Ehh… I didn't really care for this chapter… But drop me a review telling me your thoughts so far or whatever :)**


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Diary,

I didn't realize how much I'd come to depend on that damn diary. And since I told Dylan to burn the old one, I had to go out and buy me a new one. Which was, of course, as embarrassing as the first time. I should've gone to a different store… At least this time I painted over the flowers to make the whole thing black.

But anyway, here I am, blushing like a girl or something as I try to keep this thing from prying eyes. I decided to sit at the back of the bus so I could write in peace, but of course, me not sitting up front made Stan curious. So now he's sitting in the seat across from me, just staring… He still looks like a kicked puppy or something. It's almost enough to make me want to forgive him. That, and the realization that if I don't make up with him I'm going to be as friendless as I was that one time I added Kip Drordy on facebook.

This whole mess with Dylan and Stan is really getting to me. It's gotten to the point where my grades are staring to drop. My math teacher was so concerned with my last test grade and my lack of homework that she called up my mom. Needless to say, she wasn't happy with me. But it did make her concerned, and she's been keeping an eye on me lately and constantly asking if there's something wrong that she needed to know about. Of course, I keep telling her I'm fine…

But I think she knows I'm lying. Fuck… It's been almost two weeks since I've talked to Dylan, and from what I've heard in rumors I think he's hanging out with Kenny and Cartman a lot lately. Well, mainly Kenny I suppose. Because I'm pretty sure Cartman said he hated Dylan…or something along those lines, but with less pleasant words. I know that Kenny's been getting into some pretty bad shit lately, what with his parents' divorce and his sister leaving with his mom to go to another state… I just hope Dylan doesn't make any mistakes he'll regret. Even if he _does _hate me, or fears me, or whatever it is he thinks about me…I still worry about him.

And as for Stan… I don't even know. He's tried to catch me after class several times and he's written notes to me in class begging for forgiveness or for me to at least talk to him. I don't know if I can though. Stan was my best friend and I could never hate him, but after _that _I just don't know if I can face him again…

Anyway, the bus is almost to school. I'll write more later.

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski


	15. Chapter 15

It had been two weeks since I wrote my last diary entry. I didn't really see a point in continuing if Kyle wasn't going to read anything that I wrote anyway. I had told myself that I was going to kick Stan's ass, but there never seemed to be a time when he was by himself. I hadn't even realized before, but damn. That kid must be the most popular kid at South Park High… He's always with people, hanging out and flirting. It's a wonder how he ever finds the precious time to stalk Kyle when he's got all these fans swarming around him.

I couldn't understand why football players were so damn popular. Apparently Kenny and Cartman didn't understand either, because they had pretty much broken off their friendship with him when high school hit. He didn't seem to really notice though. God he's so dense it makes me sick… But I guess that's why I preferred to hang out with the two of them. Not that I really enjoyed the company, but they knew the same Stan I knew.

We sat behind the school after the bell rang and Kenny lit up a cigarette, offering the pack to me. I shook my head and waved my hand at it in disgust. He looked at me confused. "What the hell, dude? You can't say no to a cigarette! That's like…saying no to vodka! And you and I both know that _no one _says no to vodka. Especially if I have a say in it. So take the damn thing," he concluded. I raised my eyebrow at him, but refused anyway. It was obvious that he had snuck off to the bathroom sometime during the day and took a few hits. I frowned, realizing that this was going to complicate my plan a little. I looked around to make sure that Cartman really had left with Wendy like he said he was. Then I turned back to the stoned, relaxed boy to my left.

"Kenny?" I asked, making sure he was paying attention. He nodded in response. "I need a favor…"

He looked at me with a smirk, then moved so that he was a few inches from my face. "Well, I'm not free. So do you got any cash on you?" He asked, winking…or attempting to wink. I sighed and pushed his head away. It was times like these that I really missed Kyle and his respect for personal space.

"No, I need you to do me a huge favor, okay? But you can't let anyone find out that you're doing it for me," I told him, praying that he fully comprehended the last part. He looked bemused, so I continued. "I need you to start hanging out with Kyle again…" I said, feeling my face heat up in the slightest.

There was a short silence that followed the statement. Then asked bluntly, "why?"

I scowled at his curiosity. "It doesn't matter. Just start hanging out with him and keep an eye on him. And… If at all possible, don't let Stan get near him," I almost pleaded. God this was so much more awkward than I imagined it being. The blonde gave a slow nod, looking all the more confused.

"But why can't you just tell me? Were…friends or some shit like that. Pot buddies? Oh, wait, you don't do that… Well, were drug buddies, right? Come one, dude! Tell me! I like juicy gossip!" He begged, rambling again.

"I can't! I'm not saying another word about it. If you don't want to do me this small favor, then whatever," I antagonized. I felt his eyes boring into me as he glared.

"Fine, ass hole… I'll fucking do it. I've been wanting an excuse to start talking to Kyle again anyway. I can't remember why we stopped hanging out in the first place…" he said, being slightly amicable. Honestly, I could think of a few reasons. But since he was doing me a favor I wouldn't say anything.

"Because your trash, Kenny. Kyle doesn't need to be hanging out with someone like you," I heard a voice from behind me sneer. The blonde next to me jumped and let out a little scream, grasping at his chest in over-exaggeration. I jumped too, but I recognized the voice in time to make a big deal about it. I didn't turn around though as I felt the blood start pumping in increasing speeds through my veins. I felt like my face heat up and I tried to take a deep breath to calm myself down. Brute violence led to nothing good…

"Don't go bothering him with your nonsense, okay? He's got enough on his plate right now. And we both know how Kyle is. If he sees how wrecked you are, he's going to want to help you and then you'll only be adding on to his worries," Stan continued to belittle Kenny, who only seemed somewhat affected. As he finished talking, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and shot him a glare.

"He has too much to worry about, huh? I wonder who's fault _that _is," I spat, not directly telling him that I knew about what he did. But he caught the implication anyway and snarled at me. 'Well at least he's not completely stupid,' I thought. "And by the way, what are you doing here? Schools out, you should go home," I asked. He frowned and turned the other way.

"I was looking for Cartman. I just thought maybe he needs to know about your gay ass crush. You know, with his homophobia and big mouth, I'm sure it wouldn't be that big of a deal," He called over his shoulder. I let out a snort. High school rumors? Really, that's what this has come down to? I guess Stan forgot how much rumors and drama don't affect me.

I sighed and leaned back against the stone wall, looking over to find that Kenny had passed out sometime during the little ordeal. After a moment's thought, I resigned to leave him there. Mainly because I didn't feel like carrying him, and because I didn't want him to wake up for fear that he would question me further. So I put his cigarette out for him and headed home, wondering if Stan would actually tell Cartman.

I was almost home when I suddenly remembered something that stopped me in my tracks. I turned on my heel and sprinted back to the school, praying that a janitor was still there or something to let me back in. One thought circled around my mind as I pushed my legs to go faster: I left my fucking backpack at school…


	16. Chapter 16

Stan's POV:

Well… It wasn't a complete lie. I _had _been looking for Cartman. But there was no way in hell I was going to tell him about that Goth kids little secret. Not that I cared anything about him; but because if I were to tell Cartman, Kyle would inevitably be harassed as well. That was the one thing I wanted to avoid…

The reason I _was_ looking for Cartman was because he left his backpack in the classroom. I was planning on returning it, but after my encounter with Dylan and Kenny I didn't feel like looking anymore, so I had resigned to bring the bag home with me and return it tomorrow. That was before I started thinking though.

I was totally over Wendy at this point; there was no doubt about it. Our love had gone from hearts in the eyes and flowers every day, to angry phone calls and constant break-ups. I remember the last time I had tried to make things work between us…

"I just don't feel that way about you anymore, Stan. I'm kind of…in love with Cartman," she had said, avoiding my eyes and twisting a strand of raven hued hair in between dainty fingers. I remember wincing and laughing it off. I told her it was okay and walked the other way, not knowing what else to say to those rejecting words. That next day when Kyle had found out, he had offered to take me to the arcade to chill out and 'forget all about that hoe' as he had put it.

I wasn't so sure at first, but I went along with it. He spent the rest of the school day trying to cheer me up, and as cheesy as it sounds, just seeing him smile was enough to make me forget all about Wendy. By the end of the day, going to the arcade wasn't for the same reasons as it had originally been for. I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with my best friend. My best friend whom I'd always been exceptionally close to…. The object of at least a quarter of mine and Wendy's arguments.

As we walked side-by-side, his eyes closed in mid-laughter, I couldn't help but steal glances at him. He was so cute… Even the few flaws in his features seemed like nothing in light of his adorableness. I grinned at my own joke that had him in a fit of amusement and reached my arm out to wrap around his shoulders. He flinched for a moment, but didn't say anything. He just looked up at me with a smile. Then his eyes lit up and I instantly grew curious. Anything Kyle had to say was always interesting.

"What is it, dude?" I asked, since he seemed to shy away from telling me.

"I… Uhh… Stan, I kind of invited a friend. Is that okay?" He asked, looking down in a way that struck me as familiar.

"Um… Sure, I guess? Who is it?" I asked, a tad bit hurt that he didn't want to spend time alone with me. Before he had the chance to reply though, we stopped in front of one of the most popular of places in South Park where teens chose to waste their money. Standing in front, looking all too much like he had better things to do, was the red Goth kid I remembered from my earlier sulking days. He brushed a lock of red-dyed hair from his eyes and pushed himself off the wall, smiling warmly over at Kyle, a gesture I don't recall seeing on his features too often. Then his eyes- almost inconspicuously- traveled from the arm I had wrapped around the shorter male and up to my face, where he directed his attention with a grimace. Then his lip twitched into somewhat of a smirk.

"Well, hello, Marsh. Ironic how we only tend to meet when your bitch leaves you, huh?" I winced at the words and almost didn't catch the victory leer he composed.

"Dylan!" Kyle pouted beside me. "Come on, dude! His girlfriend just left him! For _Cartman _of all people! Show a little sympathy…" The Goth-or…Dylan- rolled his eyes in a 'whatever' notion and we proceeded into the arcade.

The rest of the day passed much the same as the initial meeting outside had, I recalled. Back in the present time, I noticed that I had moved without thinking about it and at this point, I had the backpack in my hands. I stared down at it, debating on whether I should invade on his privacy or not.

_"You know…" I said, out of breath from laughing so hard through the previous tickle fight. "You giggle like a girl." He stuck his tongue out at him and pushed me off, clearly embarrassed. "That's what Dylan always tells me," He murmured as he crawled off the bed and went to his dresser drawer to dig around for something. I heard him call out something over his shoulder, but I ignored it in favor of glaring out the window to my right. A sudden thought hit me… It was already night, so I wondered if Kyle's parents were in bed yet… I winced, thinking, 'where did that come from?'_

"_What's wrong?" His voice reached my ears and I snapped back to reality. I didn't reply though, my previous dirty thoughts and aggravation at Dylan clouding my mind, leaving me red in the face and confused. Eventually I looked up at him with a sigh; I figured I must've looked pretty solemn by the way his face fell. "Do you… Do this kind of stuff with him, too? You know, sleepovers, tickle fights, gossip?" I asked him. He frowned at my question and, if I wasn't imagining it, turned a slight shade of scarlet._

"_Well… Yeah. I mean, he is my best friend, dude," he said. An uncomfortable silence cast over the room._

"_I remember when I use to be your best friend," I muttered before I knew what I was talking about. I felt a sudden rush of adrenaline from jealousy I didn't know I harbored. "No one should be able to touch you, Kyle. No one but me." He looked up at me with a sudden look of discomfiture and confusion at my words._

"_Wha…?" he asked. Still on an adrenaline high, I moved closer to him so that he had no choice but to look at me._

"_I love you, Kyle. Is it that hard to see?" I asked, expecting him to leap into my arms or something, like in those sappy romance movies._

_He looked skeptical for a moment, then I guess he decided that I was serious, because he blushed and murmured awkwardly, "I'm… I'm gay too… I didn't want anyone to know, but…" I beamed at him and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer as I buried my face in his hair. Almost as soon as I had started to grow comfortable though, he pushed me away. He hesitated, then said in a sure voice, "But I don't feel that way about you, Stan. I'm kind of…in love with Dylan."_

I don't really know what happened. I remember having a flashback from Wendy's words of rejection and relating them to Kyle's own. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it just did. I snapped and attacked him; I heard him scream but ignored it. By the time the reality of the situation hit me, it was too late.

I had gasped and bowed my head in shame, but had nevertheless continued on with defiling him. I had started to cry as I whispered out, "I'm sorry, Kyle… I'm sorry…" But the memory of Kyle's tears being far louder and heart-wrenching than my own shame was forever etched into my mind; something I would never forget.

My attention snapped back to the bag in my now shaking hands. Cartman… If Cartman had never said yes to Wendy then I'd still have a girlfriend. I wouldn't be happy, yes. But things would be normal. None of this would've happened. And I wouldn't have hurt my poor Kyle…

None of this would've happened… I heard my mom call up the stairs…something about my medications, but the words were lost in the fuzziness of my state of mind. I pushed her shrill voice aside and made up my mind, dumping the contents of the bag onto my bed.

Even if I couldn't do anything serious, the least I could do was rummage through his bag and maybe get some dirt on him. A black hoodie fell out first, which caught me by surprise since I didn't recall Cartman ever owning a black hoodie. Then the regular school stuff, which I disregarded after flipping through the notebooks for none-school related drawings or words. Then I pushed it all aside as I shook the bag a little more, suddenly a smaller notebook fell out onto my bed right in front of me. I eyed it suspiciously. Was this…a diary? I flipped it over to the front, and instantly fell out laughing. Since when does Cartman have such a feminine side? Oh god, this was great. Perfect, really. I couldn't wait to tell the others about this.

Wait… I haven't even read it yet. There could be some really interesting stuff in here. Fat ass was usually pretty interesting, as much as I hated to admit it. I hurriedly opened to the first page and read through it, eyebrows slowly rising and my mouth parting in confusion as I read. 'Diary exchange?' What the hell? Who was Cartman doing a diary exchange with?

'Red?' Wait… I was at a loss for words as I continued through the short entry. 'Signed, Kyle Broflovski' it read at the bottom.

Still speechless, I closed the diary and went back to the school notebook. I opened it to a page with half-finished math homework and read the name at the top of the page.

I didn't know how to feel as I realized that this wasn't Cartman's backpack, but instead my self-proclaimed worst enemy's. And this was Dylan and Kyle's diary…This girly notebook held the untold story that I wasn't sure if I wanted to read. I felt my blood racing through my veins as I started to shake all over again. I hated Dylan… I hated him so much…

"Stanley!" My mom's voice shrieked outside my door, a hint of worry laced in her words.

"Y-yeah, mom?" I called back, having to control my breathing enough to answer. I heard the door handle jiggle as she pushed the door open. She peered in at me, then gave a sigh of relief.

"You had me worried sick when you didn't answer… You haven't taken your medication yet. And I know how you get when you skip it…" She said carefully, as if she were warning me. But I know the consequences. And ever since that day at Kyle's house, I had never gone a day without taking my pills and I brought them most everywhere with me… Just in case I weren't to return home that night. Mom didn't need to worry. I knew the consequences… I knew them well.

"Sorry," I replied, forcing a smile as I accepted the lithium capsules. She watched me throw them to the back of my throat and handed me a glass of water before exiting, leaving my door ajar. And I had a feeling it wasn't on accident. I scowled as I sat the water down and went back to the diary in my hands.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! :D Sooo some people said they thought Stan overreacted with Kyle… I hope this chapter explains why. Drop me a review telling me what you think so far, because I worked really hard on this chapter :P :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Holy shit! 30 reviews? I can't believe this story has 30 reviews! You guys are awesome, I love you! 3 Ahem… Anyway, this chapter is kind of a filler, I guess… Enjoy anyway?**

Dear Diary,

I thought I'd write a quick entry before Kenny gets back from the bathroom. Yeah, Kenny came home with me today. He came up to me after fifth period and just started talking like we'd never stopped hanging out. I have to admit… It was actually kind of nice, if you put aside the awkwardness. I miss when we use to all be friends- Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and I. We use to do everything together, even though sometimes it's hard to believe with the way we all practically avoid each other now…

But anyway, he asked if he could spend the night, and begged me to go to the mall with him tomorrow. And since I didn't have anything else to do, I agreed. But I told him he'd have to take a shower before I even considered sharing a bed with him. He laughed and said he would- which is why he's in the bathroom as I write.

The main reason I wanted to write though, is because Stan wasn't at school today… And I'm kind of worried about him. I mean, I know he could just be sick or something, but I have a bad feeling and I don't know where it's coming from. Plus, Dylan was acting a bit off today. He got in trouble today for not having his backpack…. Which was odd in itself, but what made it worse was the fact that he went off on our English teacher, something no one's ever done, let alone _Dylan_…

Stan's absence, Dylan's actions, and Kenny's friendliness made me really think about some things… Well, I've been thinking a lot lately actually. And anyway, I've come to a decision. I'm tired of the way things have been lately and I'm not going to just sit around and let everything fall to pieces around me anymore. I'm planning on putting a stop to all of this. I'm going to sort things out with Stan, and I'm going to try to talk to Dylan again, probably for the last time if things don't go as planned. I just hope they're both willing to listen to me…

Well, Kenny should be getting out of the shower any time now. So I guess I'll just write some more later.

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Diary,

What am I doing? Oh god, I'm going to be in so much trouble when I get home… I can just imagine my mom's reaction when she gets home from work and checks the answering machine and sees that the school called...

Well, I ended up telling Kenny. I told him everything, including the incident with Stan. I feel… I feel a hell of a lot better, that's for sure. He listened to everything I had to say and when I was done, all he had to say was, "holy shit, dude." He even said that when I planned on talking to Stan and Dylan tomorrow, he'd make sure to stay close but hidden in case anything went wrong. I told him that it was okay and he accepted the refusal without much fuss, but it was the thought that counts I guess. It was nice, having someone besides this diary to confide to for once. But this morning, I guess Kenny's 'best friend' intuition kicked in or something, because he refused to let me go to school. I couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with the phone call he had to excuse himself to answer.

But regardless of his reasons, somehow he had talked me into skipping school… Something I would've never thought about doing before, but I'm pretty sure what I had been feeling could be defined as peer pressure. I just started making Kenny like me again and I had spilled my heart out to him, of course I didn't want to lose him and go back to being friendless… So, here I am; sitting in Kenny's room, alone.

Actually, now that I think about it, it's been at least an hour since Kenny left, saying that he would be right back. The clock on his nightstand says its 12:06. I guess I'll write some more in a little while, hopefully Kenny shows up before I die of boredom…

Signed,

Kyle Broflovski

* * *

><p>I sat at the lunch table, ignoring the food in front of me in favor of peering around the cafeteria in search of my prey. I had ended up skimming through the diary last night at a late hour after tossing and turning with thoughts of what could lie within those pages. Now as the sentences flashed through my head and I felt my blood boil, I regretted my actions.<p>

Kyle had told him everything… Everything that should've never been spoken about was there, written in Kyle's perfect hand writing and addressed to Dylan. I felt betrayed… And worse, humiliated. But even worse than that, I felt a consuming need to do it again. To show him that he was mine. But this time, I wanted him to be willing. Judging by those last entries, Kyle needed someone there for him, and I needed to let him know that he didn't need Dylan. I didn't want him to need Dylan. I wanted him to need me.

I continued glaring around the cafeteria, looking for the red-head, but still couldn't spot him anywhere. But I did see the object of my hate getting up from his seat and sneaking over to the exit door. Nobody seemed to notice, since Dylan's one of those people that nobody seems to acknowledge to begin with. But I on the other hand, had. And seeing him trying to sneak out gave the sudden thought that maybe he knew where Kyle was. So, I got up from my seat as well and swiftly dashed to catch up with him before he got away.

* * *

><p>Kenny showed up to school out of breath and with sweat dripping from his blonde bangs, matting in thick clumps to his forehead and rosy cheeks. And the fact that he had stopped three times for breath and was still like this was proof enough that he really needed to stop smoking; not that he would.<p>

His cerulean eyes darted to every corner of the parking lot, eager and a bit desperate to find the being he sought out. He almost overlooked the boy who was clothed in all black without any trace of color on his attire. If it wasn't for his pale white features, Kenny may have not seen him at all. With a bright smile upon his light-hearted features, Kenny shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn out jeans and made his way over to Dylan at a leisurely pace.

When he finally came to a stop about a foot away from him, he asked in a tone meant to be casual, "So, what's up?" But the concern was laced deep into the words.

"Where's Kyle?" Dylan asked, bypassing all of the polite greetings that were meant to be exchanged.

Kenny's smile slipped and was replaced by something less cheerful as his eyes shifted to the ground. The air of anxiousness that the other was giving off made him nervous. He didn't want to get involved in the drama that he knew he was already becoming a part of. The moment Kyle had started talking last night, and after the protectiveness he felt over his old friend at the other's tale, he knew he was already in too deep. The blonde sighed. "He's at my house. I don't think he knows I'm here. As far as I know, he thinks I'm in the bathroom doing lord knows what."

The noirette nodded absently at the confirmation, though he did look a bit relieved. He glanced over his shoulder and then back, as if he were expecting to find an uninvited guest listening in on their conversation. Obviously, he found none, because he seemed to grow less tense. There was a silence cast among the two as Kenny fought with a knot in his throat that restrained him from saying the words he so desperately wished to say. Finally, though, he piped up, "You can tell me what's going on, you know. I am your friend."

The other let out a small sigh of irritation, before turning around and starting to head back into the building. But the blonde's next words stopped him. "I already know what's going on, for the most part. Kyle told me. Come on, dude, I just want to help…" The tone in which he spoke was almost a distressed one.

Dylan turned back around, staring at the other curiously. He didn't think Kyle would actually open up to Kenny so quickly. Of course, that had been his intentions; for the red-head to have somebody to confide in when he himself couldn't talk to him. But he hadn't expected such fast results.

"Stan found my backpack. And the diary that was in it," he said casually, as if they were discussing the weather or some other monotonous subject. Nevertheless, the blonde's eyes grew huge at the news.

"What?! What the fuck are you going to do?"

Dylan frowned and was silent for a brief moment. Then he looked up with almost pleading eyes, a look Kenny had never seen on him before. That, along with his answer, slightly scared the blonde. "Keep Kyle away from him okay?"

He bit his lip and thought for a moment. Then he sighed and gave a curt nod in response. And with that, the two exchanged good-byes and went their separate ways just as the bell rang.

**A/N: Okay, so the votes were unanimous. This will remain a Red Goth/Kyle fic. :) Sorry for the late update, we went on a family vacation, and I had this typed up but had no way of posting it.**

**Also, if I made any spelling/grammar errors and you happen to notice them, please tell me so I can fix them. Thanks for reading! :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Asdfghjkl;! I'm so sorry, guys! Between school, homework, and trying to spend time with my best friend on the weekends, I've had little to no time to read fanfiction, much less work on my own :( I'm so sorry, and to make it worse this chapter sucks. And I mean, REALLY SUCKS… I'll try to get another one up this weekend though!**

**This chapter is dedicated to KymanLover, whose review reminded me that I've totally been leaving Cartman out this story D:**

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

**Cartman's POV:**

I gripped the torn piece of notebook paper between my thumb and forefinger, making sure I had the location right. The paper read:

"Meet me after class next to the dumpsters"

I wasn't one for taking commands, especially from a guy who ditched his best friends since childhood for the popularity that came with being a football player, but I had noticed something was up lately. It started out as nothing; Kyle started being his usual moody self, so I thought nothing of it. But when his silence lasted well over a week, I started to become-I guess you could say-concerned.

Then, one day that Goth kid Kyle was always hanging out with ventured out to the back of the school looking unusually stressed. When he had seen us, he managed to compose his dark expression that normally never left his features. He thought we hadn't noticed, but I had. And I was curious to say the least.

That was only the beginning, and as time went on, I became more and more intrigued by the situation, but kept my distance. I technically wasn't friends with Stan and Kyle anymore, so why should I care? But of course, when someone makes the Jew _that _upset, I can't help but be a bit infuriated. Even _I _could never make him that distraught.

So when Stan passed me that note, somehow I knew it had something to do with everything that was going on. Or maybe I just had high hopes and I had convinced myself that it was so. Either way, I figured it wouldn't hurt to hear what the hippie had to say. That is, if he showed up within the next ten minutes. I was due to pick up Wendy at five, so if he didn't hurry I would have no choice but to go on.

I stood by the dumpster impatiently, checking my phone every couple minutes, growing more irate by the second. I despised waiting on people, it was one of my biggest pet peeves. Why couldn't he be punctual? Finally, though, just as I checked my cell phone the fourth time, I heard the fairly soft patter of tennis shoes against concrete.

I turned my head to the right and found Stan with his hands in his coat pockets, looking for all the world like a lost puppy. It made me sick. But for the sake of this conversation and getting the information I desired, I pretended like we were still the way we were before. "Sup, hippie. Thought you weren't going to make it," I opined, nodding my head in acknowledgement.

"I had to go meet with the coach first," he explained in a bored manner, only making me that much angrier.

"Whatever, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked with malice. His soft eyes left the ground he had been so closely observing to look up at me with contemplation. Finally, he let out a small sigh and looked back down at the ground.

"It's about Kyle," he answered desolately. Bingo.

**Stan's POV:**

Ever since the thought entered my mind, I couldn't let it go. Cartman had always been a bit protective of the boy he despised so much, we all felt that way toward Kyle. He could take care of himself, we all knew too well because he had proved it time and time again. But there was an air of helplessness and innocence that the other let off, and his small body stature accompanied with his lack of muscles on his frame caused all of his friends to feel the need to protect him.

And since Kenny seemed to be on Dylan's side, that only left one other person: Cartman. And he seemed to be, for the most part, oblivious to the whole situation, so it would be fairly simple for me to get him on my side. The goal: To get Dylan out of the picture completely. His slightly bored voice reached my ears, "What about the Jew?" He asked, seeming to not really care as he pulled his phone out and clicked a few buttons. He placed it back in his pocket and looked up at me, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "Well?"

My thoughts as to who he may have been texting were left behind and I focused on the issue at hand. "Something's happened to him, and I'm really concerned about him. But he won't let me near him…" I answered, masking my face with pure concern. He continued looking at me suspiciously.

"What happened to him, hippie?" He still tried to mask his concern with boredom, but he accidently let too much emotion seep into those words. I had to stop myself from smiling, because at this point I knew I would have him playing right into my plans. I frowned, then but my lip as if I was trying to decide whether or not to tell him.

"One day after class, Kyle came up to me. He told me a secret and asked me not to tell anyone. _No one_. But I really need your help, so I have no choice but to tell you… So, do you promise not to tell anyone?"

He snorted. "Who would I tell?" He asked bitterly. Back when we were in elementary school, those words would have left anyone skeptical. Cartman was widely known for having a big mouth and loving to start drama. But as of lately, I knew those words were as sincere as they could get. Mostly due to the fact that he had deemed himself better than over half of the school, and no longer felt that he was obligated to run his mouth.

"Okay," I replied. "Well… You know how he's been hanging out with that Dylan kid, right?" he nodded, but offered no other reply. "And have you noticed how Kyle's been acting weird, and avoiding him lately?" I ventured. He gave a simple nod again, but looked more intrigued. "Kyle… Kyle told me that Dylan attacked him," I said, having to choke back a sob. Damn, I was pretty good at this. For a moment, I contemplated joining the drama club at our school, but Cartman's words brought me back to reality.

"What the hell do you mean attacked?" He asked.

"…Dude, he raped him."


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Diary,

Its lunchtime and I don't have any money on my account. So guess who's not eating today? I figured this would be a good time to write anyway. You'd think someone would notice that I'm constantly writing in this thing and say something to me, but no one seems to care.

But anyway, the atmosphere today has been really awkward… I mean, it's been pretty awkward for a while now, but today something just seemed off. The feeling initially occurred when Cartman came up to me and attempted conversation. He didn't say much, just, "Sup, Jew. How have you been?" Somehow, the insult didn't hold the same malice that it used to. I blamed that on the fact that we haven't talked in quite a while. I just replied with a simple "alright." And asked him the same question. But he just gave me a skeptical look and then Wendy showed up and they walked away.

The look he gave me is the reason I feel like something's up. Plus, I haven't seen Stan at all today. Which is a real bummer since I was planning on talking to him and Dylan today to hopefully work out this…thing that's been going on. Maybe he's sick or something…. I guess I could still get things sorted out with Dylan today and worry about Stan tomorrow, but his absence just seems like a good excuse to put it off longer.

Don't get me wrong, I _want _this whole ordeal to come to a close. But I'm still working out how to go about talking to them, and I feel so nervous just thinking about it. Oh god, I wish I would-

* * *

><p>The pen dropped from his hand as a violent crash erupted from behind him, causing him to stop mid-sentence. He instinctively slammed the cover of the diary over the words, keeping his thoughts hidden from prying eyes as he whipped around to locate the source of the crash.<p>

What he found was something he never imagined he would ever come in contact with. Even as he watched on at the scene in mild-horror and overall surprise, he couldn't truly process what was happening. The table two rows away folded in under the pressure of Dylan's body. And from the position he was in, back almost flat against the ground and legs going in both directions as he struggled to get up…he looked so meek and vulnerable.

Kyle's heart sunk as he could do nothing but continue to watch and wonder who caused the spectacle. His eyes traveled from his former best friend to the hovering figure two feet away from him and growing closer. Was that…Cartman? Eric reached down and pulled Dylan to his feet by his shirt collar, pulling him close to his face as he whispered something close to his ear. The other's face slowly shifted from his trademark stoic expression to that of murder. The dark eyes of his friend turned to the general location in which Kyle sat, still in shock. At the realization, the red-head's face immediately turned the color of his hair and he tried to avert eye contact by looking away, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do so. The look on the other's face was still that of utter anger, but somehow, Kyle could sense that anger wasn't directed at himself. Which gave him some small form of comfort? But still, he wondered what had been said to get such a reaction out the seemingly carefree boy.

Cartman yanked on Dylan's shirt roughly to regain his attention, and succeeded. But in hindsight, getting his attention probably wasn't the best idea. Kyle jumped from his seat as the severity of the fight climaxed. Where the hell were the teachers? Why wasn't anyone intervening?! Cartman had stumbled back due to the previous blow that had hit him squarely on the nose. He mouthed something that could only be a curse, and jumped into a retaliation attack, which landed them both on the floor kicking and punching, curses being spewed like it was the only thing in their vocabulary.

Just when Kyle was about to put a stop to this himself, a blur of blonde and orange sprinted past his line of vision and joined the fight. When Kenny's form emerged from the rubble, with one hand on each of the heavily breathing chests of his friends, Kyle let out an audible sigh of relief. Before he could really register what he was doing, he instinctively made his way over to the trio, who hadn't seemed to notice him until he was directly in front of them. Kenny gave him a skeptical look, but then directed a small smile at him and let his hands drop to his sides, shooting both of them a glare to make sure they wouldn't attack each other again. But only Cartman caught the menacing look of the blonde, whereas Dylan was rather distracted by the small form hesitantly making his way up to him.

Kyle gently placed a hand to the other's cheek, waiting to see if he would swat it away. When he didn't, he grew a bit bolder and decided to speak. "A-are you…okay?" Dylan felt his heart sink with heavy guilt and the smallest sign of a blush inevitably made its way to his features.

"Yeah," he finally replied, his voice a hell of a lot quieter than he had intended it to be. "I'm fine," he added for an excuse to make his voice bolder. Green eyes searched his own for a moment, as if he was trying to tell if he was lying. Then, he abruptly pulled his hand away, casually glancing around the cafeteria, seeming to just realize that everyone was still watching the four of them, waiting for the fight to suddenly recommence. But the only show they got was a flustered Kyle who at this point, was looking anywhere but at Dylan.

"I'm…Glad you're okay…" he murmured, fingers idly picking at a journal in his hands. Dylan eyed it curiously, but as soon as the red-head noticed, he hid it behind his back. Then, as if he couldn't stand to be there anymore, he grabbed Kenny's wrist and darted out of the cafeteria. He looked after the duo curiously, but soon his attention was averted to the sound of the school headmaster marching over to him and Cartman, loud voice reaching the ears of every student in the lunch room. "Alright, alright, everyone get back to their lunch! You two, come with me," he sneered, reaching out and taking both of them by their wrists and pulling them along to his office.

**A/N: I got a check out today because I was sick, so I decided to update. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I may have overlooked. But anyway, thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: So, I wrote this chapter at four in the morning while watching Tosh.0. Sorry if it sucks… Thank you for all of the reviews thus far. I offer my deepest, sincerest apologies for how late this is… The next chapter's halfway written though!**

Suspended. Dylan and Cartman had been reprimanded for their actions in the way the principal had seen fit. The fight wasn't even that big of a deal in comparison to some of the other bouts that had occurred in just the past school year, but the combination of communal distaste for Cartman and Dylan's bad attitude as of late was just enough to help make the final decision.

Kyle had heard the news from Kenny, who had walked the humiliated red-head to class before leaving to go sit in the office and listen in on the conversation. He received a tardy slip and left to go rejoin Kyle in fifth hour, spilling to him every detail he had overheard. The two were currently waiting to be picked up by their parents, according to the blonde, who urged him to go speak with Dylan before it was too late. "He's going to be suspended for two weeks, dude. If you don't talk to him now, you may lose your nerve by the time he gets back," he had said. Kyle scowled at his friend's inducing but oh-so-equitable advice, but eventually he sighed and resigned to try to meet up with him after class.

As the bell rung, Kyle felt his heart leap at both the sudden noise (even though he had been watching the clock most of the class period and should've been prepared for the sound), and from anxiety unexpectedly shooting through his body. He grabbed his bag and took a deep shaky breath, turning to see Kenny offering him his genuine grin, laced with encouragement. He returned the smile as best he could, becoming slightly reassured by his friend's confidence in him. He turned to look at the door and left without another thought. He knew that if he were to overanalyze what he was about to do, he would bypass the office and go straight to his last period of the day. The thought was very intriguing, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, replaying Kenny's words for reassurance.

He approached the door way far faster than he would've liked, but he ignored the bitter feeling and entered the room, several eyes falling on him briefly before resuming their previous tasks. He gave a polite smile to any whose eyes lingered, and that was enough for them to join the others in not caring. Once he briefly adjusted himself to the atmosphere of the slightly crowded and business-like room, he allowed his eyes to scan it over, seeking out the noirette. As nervous as he was, a small part of him was actually quite disappointed when he didn't see him among the crowd.

"Can I help you?" the lady at the desk asked in a slight country accent, and it took Kyle a moment to realize she was talking to him. He jumped slightly and directed his attention to her piercing blue eyes, trying to make out in his hazed mind what she had said. Once he realized, he shook his head. Just as the lady was about to look back down at the computer, an air of irritation and intolerance plastered about her, Kyle decided to take advantage of the situation.

"Umm… Actually, ma'am, could you tell me where Dylan is? I was asked to bring him the work he missed from last period." Of course it was a lie. But it was the perfect opportunity to talk to him, and teachers and school officials in general loved it when someone mentioned schoolwork or anything similar. If he would've said something like, 'he forgot something at lunch' or something of that sort, she would've stuck up her nose and made him leave it with her. But just as Kyle had predicted, she beamed at him and stood from her chair to lead him directly to his doom. He felt his sweat-covered palms start to shake slightly, and he wiped them against his pants leg in an attempt to both steady them and get rid of excess perspiration.

She opened the door, and there-in all of his beautiful gothic glory- sat Dylan, stoic and uncaring as usual. He looked up expectantly, as if he had been awaiting Kyle's arrival. But that statement was disproven when Dylan's features shifted from that of his customary indifference to one of shocked horror, then to what Kyle dared to call…amused delight? Kyle thanked the lady, who smiled in return and left, leaving the door ajar. He had a feeling that the action wasn't an accident either. Realizing that there was no way of backing out now, he faced the problem head-on, looking from the pale stone floor directly into the dark eyes of the enemy. But as the eye contact lasted for more than a few mere moments, and they seemed to have a conversation with no words involved, Kyle realized that they weren't enemies at all. It was as if he could almost sense the words buried deep within Dylan's heart that he longed to say.

Nevertheless, he dared not mention his thoughts, out of fear of them just being high hopes. They stood in complete silence for a brief moment more before the sound of a door closing in the distance broke their concentration. Kyle's green eyes immediately averted the dark ones they had been previously examining and he looked back to the ground, feeling his face heat up.

"Kyle…" The voice sounded desperate, longing. He felt his heartbeat quicken at the sound of his name falling from the lips of the boy who hadn't spoken to him in weeks. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. Just hearing his voice, directed toward Kyle himself, was enough to make the red-head content and want to burst into tears of happiness. It was strange and probably stupid, but it was the complete truth. The words that followed that single consonant that had the red-head in fit of emotions were more than Kyle could've ever asked for. Dylan's voice was soft but distraught. "I never meant to hurt you…"


End file.
